Tomorrow I'm heading to Gothenburg with my class (YAAAY!!!!!) so today I bought some things for the 6 hour long bus trip. Candy, crisps and drinks. I hesitated for a moment, thinking "I should go with some healthy snacks instead, I've gained weight" but then I decided not to give a shit. Let me eat what I want, I thought to my brain. My brain seems to hate me, it tells me I'm fat and that my legs are round and that I have a stomach like a fat pig. I'm 177 cm tall and weigh 60 kilos. I used to weigh 52, but since I quit riding last year(I'll be starting again this fall) I've gained some weight. I've started thinking a lot about my weight and about what I eat. Every window I pass, I look at my reflection and I'm filled with.... whats the word? not disgust, but.... discontent. I don't like my body, I don't like myself. I will begin seeing a psychiatrist in june, because I think I'm deppressed or somehing. I can't talk to people I know about my feelings. So yeah, thanks for reading my blabber, i guess.
I'll see you around then.
xx Nicole
(photoshoot in the sun, none of my photos are edited btw)
No comments:
Post a Comment